You’ve got your teams in place. (See our resource, “Best Practices for Event Leaders” for info on team-building). Now it’s time to flesh out the safety considerations and accommodations for your event. Showing you care equally about everyone who attends is a professional and much-appreciated service to the Community. Depending on your group, this could be the focus of your Planning Committee’s work or the Group Leader(s) in determining rules and protocols.
Note: It is up to individual leaders to adapt our recommendations to their membership realities. Use this as an aspirational guide (what you could achieve in a perfect world.) Don’t expect perfect results. Your group or location may make some things impractical, even impossible.
First, review these four necessary steps all groups should take to produce a professional-looking and successful event.
STEP ONE
The first step is to decide what type of educational group you are building. There are as many types of educational groups (in as many places) and events as there are fetishes! Each type of event has its own complexities and considerations. You can start an education group that brings in presenters to teach a variety of topics (a different one each month) or a group that stays within a certain type of skill set.
Similarly, you could have talk-only seminars or demo-only workshops, or run a large-scale event where you have a range of options (think IML/IMsL). These days, some organizers bring creative innovations and unconventional educators into the mix too, so choose your educational identity and build classes around your educational philosophy and brand.
STEP TWO
Once you know what kind of group you want to be, start planning how to meet your audience’s needs. Attendees may fit into a broad category (like spanking or bondage), but there are still a wide range of variations within those categories.
A good example of this is the multitude of demo-based rope bondage groups. These groups normally have several leaders with different skills so that during the group’s gatherings there will be teachers to help members improve their ties or to learn new ones, all while keeping an eye on correct safety techniques. Some groups stick with basic bondage, some with Shibari. Others may include suspension bondage, dilemma bondage, mummification and other advanced play.
Anytime you have new risks, you must bring new awareness to those risks and ensure you have the right equipment and safety protocols in place to facilitate those scenes safely. Make sure each of your presenters stress the safety concerns of their subject.
STEP THREE
Pick an appropriate venue for the event and nail it down so there are no sudden changes at the last minute. Be guided by anticipated number of attendees. A small group doesn’t need a big space and a big crowd will overflow and stress a small space. This may mean negotiating details with a hotel or other public venue on dress codes and accommodations; it might mean space at a local BDSM or LGBT bar where you need to negotiate how to keep your event private and/or alcohol-free, whether there will be food, etc.; or it could mean meeting in someone’s home and providing snacks or beverages. If your event will only last 1-2 hours, in and out, food and drink isn’t usually an issue, but having a few drinks with sugar on hand anyway could be a lifesaver if someone with diabetes has a low blood sugar incident at your event. If your event will last 3 hours or more, bathroom access and food/drink may be a big issue.
Don’t be worried that your group won’t succeed if you don’t have a big shiny place to have it. The majority of groups start out with only a few people in attendance at a private home. It’s easier to control a small crowd, too, so don’t hesitate to start small until you get the hang of it before building to a big public space.
STEP FOUR
Social Media presence (e.g., Fetlife, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) matters! It cannot be overstated how important these are to the success of your group. These are the lines of communication that help people find you and attend your events. Leading up to the meeting, make sure someone is in charge of publicizing it and sharing details at least once a day.
Remind followers of dates and deadlines, update them about new speakers or subjects as they roll in, share teasers about topics that will be discussed, and ask all attendees to follow your social media feed. Graphics make your announcements and reminders fun to see, but more importantly, easy to remember.
BEST PRACTICES
Below is a detailed list of best practices that we compiled for leaders. You may not need to (or be able to) follow them all, depending on where you live, the anticipated size of the audience, and the size of your staff. Still, read through them all to be aware of how others build a successful, crowd-pleasing event and implement as much as is realistic for your group.
A point-by-point list of actions you can take
to accommodate all attendees
— Decide what, if any, vetting process you want to use – especially if your event is in someone’s home.
— Have someone outside the front door to keep an eye on parking and to be of assistance to attendees, if necessary.
— Make sure at least one entrance, one exit and one bathroom are easily accessible to wheelchairs, crutches, and larger-framed people.
— A good sized foyer will prevent persons from becoming congested while in line to enter the event. Position the check-in desk beside the entrance to the presentation area so people can enter easily after they’ve checked in.
— Make sure furniture in the meeting, social, and food areas can accommodate all sizes, small to large.
— Have a height adjustable table (chair), a projector & screen (preferably a pull down one), a laptop (in case the presenter doesn’t have one). If the area is too big to hear well, consider purchasing speakers and a microphone which can attach to clothing or a stand.
— Keep a fully equipped First Aid Kit (a large rolling cooler works well)
— Every individual attending your event has their own set of behaviors and levels of understanding when it comes to attitudes towards BDSM/Leather or what it means to be an LGBTQ person. We strongly recommend conducting an orientation meeting for newbies to discuss BDSM consent issues, language (not using offensive or exclusionary terms, etc.), and the basic rules and ethos at your event, including topics in the group waiver.
— Arrange for a sign language interpreter for the orientation as well as the meeting itself. If you are in an area where English is not the predominant language, consider having Foreign Language presenters with an English interpreter, as well as an interpreter for English language presentations. This goes a long way to building diversity in our community.
— Keep the cost for your events at the minimum so that more people can afford to come. If members bring potluck foods and snacks, the group can provide ice & drinks which keeps the costs low.
— If you will be offering food, make sure you have options for diabetics, people with food allergies, vegetarians, low-carb dieters and others who have specific food needs. Don’t wait until the last minute to learn a diabetic person can’t find anything healthy at your dinner or snack table. To be extra safe, ask those who bring homemade dishes to list food ingredients on an index card and display it so attendees can make appropriate food choices for themselves.
Five Protocols for your check-in desk
1 Waivers only need to be signed once a year, but the member list must be kept up to date to know who has or has not signed one. Have a secure (locked) drawer or file cabinet for all waivers to ensure confidentiality of information. Depending on your security needs, consider using an attorney or legal aid to keep the waivers at their office to protect member confidentiality even furth1 Waivers only need to be signed once a year, but the member list must be kept up to date to know who has or has not signed one. Have a secure (locked) drawer or file cabinet for all waivers to ensure confidentiality of information. Depending on your security needs, consider using an attorney or legal aid to keep the waivers at their office to protect member confidentiality even further.
2 Have multiple clipboards with waivers already on them and pens available so several people can fill them out at a time.
3 Have sign-in sheet for people who don’t need to sign a waiver.
4 It helps to have more than one person at the check-in counter because new people always have questions.
5 Keep a lock box for any monies collected from attendees. Have a solid policy/practice for where all funds should be turned in after they’ve been collected. Make sure everyone handling money knows and follows the policy.
Decisions to make before the date of your event
Age & ID – will you require legal names on your waiver forms? What IDs will you accept to verify information? Do you put an In Case of Emergency on forms?
Dress code — what rules apply to fetish clothes? Are attendees free to wear what they like anywhere on premises? Should they keep it G-rated in public areas, like a hotel reservations desk, elevators or halls? For attendee safety on sidewalks and parking areas surrounding the event, we recommend telling attendees to arrive in street clothes and change once they are inside the actual event space.
Partying – what, if any, substances (and smells) are allowed in or around this event? Alcohol, cigarettes, vaping, marijuana? Let local laws guide your decision, and then create a designated zone for the partying you do allow. Also, with allergies to chemicals and perfumes on the rise, advise attendees to go easy on perfumes and colognes, especially if your space doesn’t have great air circulation.
Cellphones – We recommend you ask people to shut them off to maintain respectful silence during classes and workshops. It’s nice when the head of a group gets up at the beginning and asks for everyone to make sure their phone’s ringer is off and that they have no alarms set during the hours of the event.
Photos & Videos – With cell phones, it’s very difficult to control photo-taking, but if you want a firm policy against this, make a public announcement about it and plan to politely police their use, particularly in dungeon spaces. Another option is to improvise a discreet photo space/booth (with adjustable lights) and ask people to restrict photography to that area.
Weapons – Follow your local laws on carrying and whether guns and alcohol are allowed in the same space. Since some states allow for concealed carry, consider whether or not you will set a rule about attendees leaving them in their rooms and bringing weapons into events or play areas. Also consider what rules you’ll set about knife and gun play if you will be having a play party with your event. Make sure to check your local laws because firearms may not be allowed around liquor, even if they aren’t loaded.
Fire Play Demonstrations – because of the insurance liability, please ask the owners of the venue whether they will allow this activity.
Links to Examples of BDSM Event Waivers
Southern California Bondage Club Waiver (PDF)
New Mexico Leather Fiesta Waiver (PDF)
Does your group or organization have a published waiver that deserves a link here? Let Gloria know.
Prepared and written by the Founding Board of BED, February 2018