BDSM Organizing in Budapest

BBS, i.e. how we rock in Central Europe

by Daniel

 

The Modern Hungarian History of Kink

Dr. Brame asked me to write about the Budapest BDSM (BBS) scene, and what is it like to organize kinky events, here in Hungary. As far as I know, the first generation of kinky event organizers of the BBS appeared in the late 90’s. At that time I was 14-15 years old. Since it was already the era of the internet, I was self-aware that I was a kinkster at that age.

However, I only joined the BDSM Community at the end of 2012. Before that, I mainly visited Pro Dommes to get my kinky needs fulfilled.

 

I became aware of the local munches at the end of 2013.  After I went to about 2-3 of these great events, I proposed, that we should also organize play parties. There were some events, which were called parties, but they were rather like big munches (with over a 100 people).

My journey as an event organizer

In the middle of March of 2014, we organized a play party with a shibari performance. There were about 50 participants and six organizers.

If you have ever organized any type of events, you know how it goes, the more organizers, the more problems. Even though the party went really well I decided I will make my dream come true alone. Three months later I met my Mistress; not my first Mistress, but a Lady, who is still my Mistress – Domina Réka. The first party, which I organized independently was held at her flat, on Buda side. There was about 25 of us, and I presented my first workshop there: titled the Vanilla Storke.  It makes more sense in Hungarian, since storke is Gólya and goy is gój.

I am aware that we have a unique language, but hopefully, this will be easy to understand.  In Hungarian, the ly and the j sounds are pronounced identically.¹  So I  stressed the point, that calling the non-Jews goys, and calling the non-Kinksters Vanillas can have dramatic consequences.  The original meaning of goy in the Bible is nation. Even the Jews called themselves the sacred nation (goy).   There are many liberal people in Hungary,  on the other hand the majority is rather conservative and even racist. A group exists who call themselves the Goy Bikers, referring to the pejorative usage of the term goy.² I hope you have already guessed, that they hate my kind: Jews.

So at my first workshop, I stressed that we shall neither use the term Goy nor Vanilla in negative contexts. It is okay if we are talking about the sacred goy in the context of the Bible, or about vanilla-flavored treats and ice-cream, but not when we talk about people.

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Years passed and we began to grow. From the original 25-30 participants at our play parties, our numbers went up to 45-50 by 2016.   In 2015 a great friend of mine took me to the 2^nd Rome BDSM Conference. There I fell in love with BDSM education. As a result, we hosted our first BDSM Conference in 2016.

At this point, I have to mention some of the problems of being an event organizer here.  Since in Hungary the only major city is Budapest, those who do not live in the city or close to it tend to hate “the City” and the “City dwellers”. I wanted to close that gap, so I did not name our event Budapest BDSM Conference, but Hungarian BDSM Conference (HunCon).  Because of this, several extremely liberal, local kinksters called me a nationalist, some even compared to me to the Nazis…!  On the other hand several other, local kinksters say, that I am a dirty, leftist-liberal Jew.    Well, when you stay in the middle, it is easy to spot you from both sides of the “battlefield”.

So in the fall of 2016, we held the first HunCon.  It was far from perfect.  Six or seven of our presenters canceled during the last 10 days before the start of the event.    However some freshly made friends from Bulgaria and Romania  – @SilentTeddyBear from Bulgaria and @IronMaiden from Romania –  jumped in to replace them.  Then  @AET and  @D_Moon from the Netherlands generously gave us extra classes. @AET was originally expected as a presenter, but she helped more by doing extra workshops for us and helping us reorganize the schedule to compensate for the last-minute cancellations. 

After the Con, the average number of participants went up to around 60.   After the 2^nd HunCon, this number went up to about 70-75 people.   This might sound very small compared to the numbers of NYC, Frisco, LA or Chicago, however, if you look at the ratio of our growth,  it is impressive.  (I know, I know I am an egoistic jerk, and also a Nazi Jew. Yup.)

Building relationships at our play parties

I was a Rotary Exchange Student in the school year of 2004-2005 in a small town in upstate New York, in Bainbridge, which is about halfway between the Big Apple and Buffalo. One of the main goals of the Rotary Exchange Student program is to improve the cultural understanding and acceptance all over the planet. I came to the conclusion about one year ago, that this year spent in the States have indeed been extremely helpful to me in understanding that value of international BDSM connections. It is especially true when kinksters come to Hungary as students or to work.

On Fetlife the presence of our events in Hungary and in the Hungarian groups is overwhelming. It is not arrogance, check the groups for yourself:

https://fetlife.com/groups/18447

https://fetlife.com/groups/18447

https://fetlife.com/groups/46511

None of the above are my own groups, but we do have a group for the HunCon also:

https://fetlife.com/groups/134556

Conclusions

At the 2^nd HunCon there were over 160 people, which is 50% more than the participants of our first Con. We’ve had guests and presenters from over 20 countries including Bulgaria, Romania, Croatia, Slovenia, and Israel.

I often guide and help foreign kinksters, whether they are making a short visit to Hungary or stay here for a longer period of time. Building any type of community is not easy, but altogether it is satisfying, especially if you are dedicated your life for this.   Especially if you are an egoistic Nazi Jew.

Lots and lots of experienced kinkster wonder why I love race play.  I think the reasons why are obvious in the text above. 

Daniel’s Bio:  In addition to his duties organizing a BDSM group in Budapest and hosting HunCon, Daniel is the recipient of the International Award from the Pantheon of Leather 2017.  You may contact him directly at risleyaddix@gmail.com.

Editor’s note: the featured image is a from a BDSM dinner party Daniel organized when I was in Budapest last year so members of his group could meet me.  They were really cool and brave people!  photo credit: Ketzl @2017